Rip assunder the preconceptions.
Destroy the preconditioning of your youth.
Find solace in solitude and silence.
Remember the ember of your soul.
Speak your mind and find that spark of passioate desire.
Be the seed, spring life forward from within.
Design around that delicate and unchanging desire.
They say when a crisis of the spirit hits it feels like the world is shattering around you.They say when your environment is in chaos everything in your mind is not at ease.
They say when your internal dialog goes dark and silence is the only friend things are not well.
They say when emo words fall from silent lips, tears are soon to follow.
Yet alone we walk, on a road with only one end.
Paths coverging and diverging.
Paths full of thorns, snairs and nothingness.
Alone in a croud they say.
Crowded in the mind say others.
They say pretty things.
They say terribly painful things.
The voices in our minds.
I was gifted a blender.
First things first. Banana smoothies for the family.
Second oat and quinoia pancakes.
Fourth… Biscuit dough mix.
Fifth… Coconut Milk Icecream
Sixth… More pancakes.
Seventh… Spinach and artichoke dip.
Eighth… Refried beans.
Ninth… Mashed potatoes.
Tenth… Cashew cheese.
Eleventh… Peanut butter cookie dough.
Twelfth… Smooth as glass chia seed eggs.
“The lie is you are free to pick only from the given evils. However, the truth is you can pick from outside the choices offered. Rushing the judgement keeps one from seeing other options.”
Monday was great. I was taken out for salad.
Tuesday I heated up beir rocks.
Wednesday… Epic Fail I was exhausted. Only got 3 hours of sleep. In the morning I at dolmas, a banana, and Oreos… Yes, Oreos are vegan. Then the afternoon came around. I had both kids alone… I ordered Pizza. The pasta without sauce with mushrooms, onions, and spinach for the kids.
But I ate the spinach, Feta, and mozzarella cheese bread. God, I’m paying for it. My body is achy and my stomach feels like a train is tunneling through it at full speed. My emotions are crazy strong I started to cry out of the blue. God dairy hormones are intense when you eat it for the first time in a long time.
I’m not sure why I wanted Pizza so badly. I guess the convenience won me over… a screaming one year old who had been screaming from teething pain for 4 hours straight ended my will power at about 4:45 PM.
That is one of the reasons I feel like crap right now. I spent money on things that I do not want to perpetuate… I bowed my ass over to a consumeristic mentality and took the easy way out. I could have easily tossed more beir rocks into the oven or made a salad, or any number of quick fixes like a bowl of cereal. But I didn’t.
Now I am paying for it.
So what do you do when you mess up or miss read a label or in general epic fail at being vegan?
A warm heavey object rests at my breasts
twitching every once and a while.
her caremal skin is covered in peach fuzz,
her dark hair is soft and yet… course,
the twinge of a smile lifts teh corner of her open mouth..
He digits imposssibly warm in the crook of my elbow.
sleepy seeds rest in the corner of the little lions eyes
she is so heavy against my chest.
the twitching show when she is dreeming deeply,
I can only imahgine the vulpine tricks she plays in that dreamy haze
her nose wiggles as does her fingers.
two tiny and sharp teeth wiggle out from swolen gumz
and I am struck by of memories the day her first tooth started breaking through.
I am so greatful she is in my life.
Sitting in my coaches car, waiting for my son’s IEP. I threw a huge roadblock in front of my flow. “I would have to have a car to keep him from killing me if I choose to homeschool him.”
“I would have to have a car to keep him from killing me if I choose to homeschool him.”
Those words actually left my mouth. We had been talking about setting up a curriculum for the summer for Ben. Subconsciously I tossed the biggest issue I could out in front of me that I could, all while I was suppose to be reviewing and preparing for Ben’s IEP.
My coach asked me bluntly why I was roadblocking. She didn’t use that term at first. My confusion was evident so she broke it down into a much more visual example.
“You have a bad habit of putting caution cones and roadblocks in your way. Big bright obstacles that keep you from the direct path.”
Thinking about it I do. It is part of what makes me appear to be an amateur and part of what makes me appear to be a fool. Mostly it slows me down.
What do I do?
When I catch myself doing this I open myself up to the endless possibilities the universe puts in front of me and have a little faith and trust that everything will fall into place for my highest good.
Mantras seem to be helping.
Peace Love and Great Vibrations,
Okay, so I read this book a while ago. It was a good read and the whole time I listened my brain gave the authors the voice of Fran Dresher. I sidestepped the ethical issues because originally I became vegan for two reasons; a girl and my health.
It is well written, well researched and pretty funny. The book takes the approach of as the title implies, Vegan=Skinny. Now over the years, I did slim down considerably and when I dropped the Vegan lifestyle I did balloon and got really fucking sick. As in so sick, I had a bed pan sick.
How does a person who became vegan for health reasons become that sick? By ignoring food allergies and by having a genetic disease and for me at least by falling off the vegan bandwagon.
I digress, Skinny Bitch talks about nutrition and how the crap we put in out bodies on SAD (Standard American Diet) is literally killing us. To this day the thought of drinking a diet soda ( which I never did before reading and never will after reading) makes my skin crawl and feel like I should look for a copy of arsenic and old lace.
Click the link to grab a copy. It is a good read if you are just going out to the VEGAN Ballpark and want to take a turn hitting the bat.