Rip assunder the preconceptions.
Destroy the preconditioning of your youth.
Find solace in solitude and silence.
Remember the ember of your soul.
Speak your mind and find that spark of passioate desire.
Be the seed, spring life forward from within.
Design around that delicate and unchanging desire.
They say when a crisis of the spirit hits it feels like the world is shattering around you.They say when your environment is in chaos everything in your mind is not at ease.
They say when your internal dialog goes dark and silence is the only friend things are not well.
They say when emo words fall from silent lips, tears are soon to follow.
Yet alone we walk, on a road with only one end.
Paths coverging and diverging.
Paths full of thorns, snairs and nothingness.
Alone in a croud they say.
Crowded in the mind say others.
They say pretty things.
They say terribly painful things.
The voices in our minds.
I was gifted a blender.
First things first. Banana smoothies for the family.
Second oat and quinoia pancakes.
Fourth… Biscuit dough mix.
Fifth… Coconut Milk Icecream
Sixth… More pancakes.
Seventh… Spinach and artichoke dip.
Eighth… Refried beans.
Ninth… Mashed potatoes.
Tenth… Cashew cheese.
Eleventh… Peanut butter cookie dough.
Twelfth… Smooth as glass chia seed eggs.
“The lie is you are free to pick only from the given evils. However, the truth is you can pick from outside the choices offered. Rushing the judgement keeps one from seeing other options.”
A warm heavey object rests at my breasts
twitching every once and a while.
her caremal skin is covered in peach fuzz,
her dark hair is soft and yet… course,
the twinge of a smile lifts teh corner of her open mouth..
He digits imposssibly warm in the crook of my elbow.
sleepy seeds rest in the corner of the little lions eyes
she is so heavy against my chest.
the twitching show when she is dreeming deeply,
I can only imahgine the vulpine tricks she plays in that dreamy haze
her nose wiggles as does her fingers.
two tiny and sharp teeth wiggle out from swolen gumz
and I am struck by of memories the day her first tooth started breaking through.
I am so greatful she is in my life.
Sitting in my coaches car, waiting for my son’s IEP. I threw a huge roadblock in front of my flow. “I would have to have a car to keep him from killing me if I choose to homeschool him.”
“I would have to have a car to keep him from killing me if I choose to homeschool him.”
Those words actually left my mouth. We had been talking about setting up a curriculum for the summer for Ben. Subconsciously I tossed the biggest issue I could out in front of me that I could, all while I was suppose to be reviewing and preparing for Ben’s IEP.
My coach asked me bluntly why I was roadblocking. She didn’t use that term at first. My confusion was evident so she broke it down into a much more visual example.
“You have a bad habit of putting caution cones and roadblocks in your way. Big bright obstacles that keep you from the direct path.”
Thinking about it I do. It is part of what makes me appear to be an amateur and part of what makes me appear to be a fool. Mostly it slows me down.
What do I do?
When I catch myself doing this I open myself up to the endless possibilities the universe puts in front of me and have a little faith and trust that everything will fall into place for my highest good.
Mantras seem to be helping.
Peace Love and Great Vibrations,
For a little over three years, I forsook being vegan. I was sick, people brought me meals that were not vegan, started feeding my kid McDonalds and well life got rough. I’m jumping back into animal-free foods. My husband has requested I buy breakfast meats for Sunday brunch and meat for Boots our pug. I can get behind the meat for Boots. It is a heck of a lot better for him than dog food… and it won’t be that much of a stretch, he already eats about 10 pounds of meat a month. The two pounds of meat hubby wants a month I can overlook… for now.
My family never went back to dairy due to food allergies, so at this point, we are going back to not eating meat.
In the last two months, I cut back our meat consumption by over 3/4. This month all I bought was Pepperoni which was devoured in a day, and a pound of high-quality Bacon and a pound of high-quality sausage for my husband. (dog food excluded)
My son is addicted to hamburgers at this point so I’m going to be experimenting with vegan paddies.
As for the seitan based “meats,” I’m gonna pass for the most part. I will probably make Pepperoni and sausage… I need to dig up my old vegan cooking notes.
As for the why???
I want to get healthy again and well I’m sick of all the water waste in the commercial meat industry.
Some mornings I wish I wouldn’t open facebook or any social media… I went and looked at a friends feed and tears started rolling down my cheeks. Her daughter has cancer.
The first cancer post I skimmed and skipped. Not realizing it was her daughter. Then the Make A Wish Foundation post…
Three of my siblings had Make A Wish trips. Those memories flooded back… Then the pain and exhaustion in my friends eyes made sense. I had seen that look before in the Ronald McDonald House.
Last night one of the parents from RMH Houston posted about her daughters remains being stolen. Back to my friend… She looked exhausted. I wanted to see how happy she and her family was… There are days I really need to just hide.
My friend was around when my sister died of a brain tumor. She was around when my brothers were born sick. I can only hope that the experiences help her be strong.
We all face the unknown.